Hi guys!!
Someone actually replied to my last post omg (L)(L)(L)(L)
I thought you wouldn't look at my blog *shy*
Anyways, I've decided to improve my English by doing some reviews on manga or anime that I have recently read / watched.
To prevent cases of "sadded and quitted" from happening again *hehe*
It'll be on next post I guess. Unless something else struck my mind before I do the review.
Beyond this line the mood will be serious and I'll be emo. Please do not read if you do not wish to mind other people's business. :D
(Seriously this is unnecessary as you wouldn't be reading from the start if you don't wanna mind other people's business. But I just like the feeling of it :D Random FTW hehe )
Ok cut the crap, here's the line.
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Anyways x2,
Note: I realised that I like to use the word "anyways"
I was talking to my dad in the car. Just the two of us on our way to my mum's shop.
We seldom had these moments because I have 3 brothers. In this case, 3 VERY NOISY ONES.
So, I had to find some topic to break the silence.
I thought about my studies, and how I screwed myself during finals. (Well, I didn't tell him exactly how I did of course.)
So I broke the silence, asking:
"Dad, would it be better if I had aimed for the Hotel Management in SG instead?"
"Well, you've made a decision for yourself. Can't change it now, right."
He threw the question back at myself.
Once again, the silent / heavy atmosphere.
.
.
.
I started to think.
.
.
.
Have I made the right decision?
I know, its lame to think about this since I've already wasted RM10k in MUFY.
Considering my financial status, it's impossible to go back to square one now.
I really wanna study about environment, I'm really interested in this issue.
But at the same time, reality shows a different point of view.
I'm sure I'll manage well in Hotel Management with my not-so-lousy command of English. Thank daddy and mummy for this. Oh, thank God for giving me this tongue and brain (and everything) I suppose.
Singapore is literally shouting the word "TOURISM" in the face of Malaysia, showing that a small dot in the world can do so much more than a [sweet potato sized + dog-like (?) shaped] country. (No offense. I was merely expressing my thoughts.)
If I can graduate with a nice result, I'm sure there will be a great demand for graduates from this section as i forgot Sentosa or Genting or whatever company is working on developing Singapore into some hugeass playground.
I could start working, gaining experience as I go and saving money and contribute to my family.
I can even start to save my money for post-graduate studies when I'm old.
Dad's not gonna work forever. I'm gonna use his EPF for Monash Uni if I really go there. Monash is famous for being expensive. -.-lll
Damn Malaysia for useless local Universities. (No offense for those aiming for local U's)
I was stuck in between of my interest (can say dreams actually) and the reality. I dare not speak to dad about this conflict on my future.
As if sensing my troubles, he asked:
"Can you switch to law after MUFY?"
"I think so. No requirements to study law right."
"Oh."
"Daddy, Lawyer can earn alot meh?" (I used the actual slang but I was speaking chinese -.-)
"No larh, any job also got earn one mah...depends on you larh."
"Owhh."
The topic was put aside as we reached Southern City. Too busy looking for a nice parking slot. LOL.
We stayed there for awhile because my parents found a teacher that offers BM tuition for my bros. She seems pro. HAHAHA. Her prices are seriously pro too -.-llll
On the way home.
"Dad, how much is it again?"
"RM75 per sitting."
"Oh, RM75 per month, ok lar."
"No. Per sitting. Per lesson."
"Oh. you mean-WHAT?! PER LESSON?!"
"Yeap. Wilson, William and Wilmint. RM600 per month."
"WHAT THE-?!?! MAD ASS LARH! CRAZY!!"
I thought of it for awhile. The guilt of using dad's EPF in the future spreads deep across my heart.
"Dad, I think Wilmint can stop this tuition when school reopens."
"Hm?"
"He's not bad in BM actually, considering the school he's in now. (FYI: St. Joseph yes the one above Convent.) His BM was 90+ starting of the year. He ended up with a B cuz he was absent from school for too many days and he didn't manage to catch up."
"Hmm."
I was left alone to think as Dad refills the petrol.
Guilt Guilt Guilt Guilt.
I feel extremely guilty eventhough I have not actually used the money.
Suddenly, I have a feeling that I'm in fact a very spoilt girl.
All I thought of was to stop BM a.s.a.p when SPM finishes.
So, NO MORE BM = NO FORM 6
I guess my brains were still not fully-developed yet. You see, I was 16 at that time. The phrase "Rational thinking" was so far away.
I decided to follow what I was interested in.
"I wanna study and work on what I'M INTERESTED IN." That was how I think.
And that was the reason I used to defy my mum. Boy oh boy that time I was so damn rebellious.
Whispers: Although my mum was at fault too. =P
I hated home. I tried to stayback at school or tuition center whenever I could.
Friends were always more important than family.
The real me appeared when I was with my friends, and it was hidden when I was home.
Now that my brains are finally developing, at the age of 17 ha-ha-ha -.-lll
I started to think alot. Why this and that.
I realised that friends would forsake you for their own reasons, selfish or not; but your own family will never forsake you eventhough you made stupid mistakes or whatever.
You cry for some stupid things.
Your friends console you and stop you from crying.
But your families will say you're stupid for crying over this, and lets you cry until you're satisfied.
Only then, they start to put senses into your head.
Ironically, people still choose friends over family. Well, I WAS one of them.
Wow, this is the longest post without pictures lol.
Felt like I've wrote some fan fiction and cried like shit while writing it.
I still don't know what should I do. But fuck it, I haven't even started Sem 2 for my MUFY.
So yeah, I'm not gonna think about it first, at least not in a while.
I still can run away from the guilt at the moment.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Sighs.
I wanna be a kid forever.
You don't have to grow up, and think about all these.
Better, a rich kid.
So I don't have to worry much even if I grow up.
BILL GATES, IF YOU SEE THIS, TAKE ME AS YOUR GODDAUGHTER PLEASE. LOL.
Sort of a self-delusional-weird-declaration before turning 18 huh, lol.
Sighs..............
Sadded larh!!! LOL.
I felt better. I didn't want to post this at first, but it'll be such a waste haha.
I highlighted the convos, :D
Exposed! LOL.
End. :)
