Hi.
I need someone to talk to.
I don't know why, but my mind is very messed up now.
For the first time ever, I'm not sure whether my decision is correct or not.
I didn't feel like this before..I always thought that being responsible for once is good.
Leaving the students behind halfway, just months before SPM..it just made me feel bad.
I've experienced it before, switching teachers and adjusting to their teaching methods even when SPM is just around the corner..it didn't feel good at all, but I had to bear with it.
I don't want my students / friends to experience it too.
She had been trying to ask me to stop this.
She said that what good can I do if I chose to be stuck on to this job.
I hated what she said to me.
She sounded like she despises the job.
As though the job is lousy like shit.
Whatever..I guess I just hated whatever she says.
Seriously, how the hell I came out of her womb.
Our method of dealing with stuffs and our personalities are like two parallel lines.
They won't even have a chance to intersect each other.
Sorry, I'm being rude.
The way she chose to work with her business made me worried about my father.
All the money..
How to go to KL with a peaceful mind.. -_-
So many things to worry about, yet..
why..why do I feel extremely envy to those who're going to the next level, starting their uni lives, taking a big step towards their promising future...blah blah..
I thought I'd never say this, but i'm tired.
I'm tired of all these so called responsibilities.
I think I sound like a spoiled brat, but whatever. My blog my Kingdom my Rules.
Now that's spoiled. Lol -_-
If I went to KL instead, would it be better?
My conscience (the angel) says no don't leave them! , but the devil tells me just let them fuck themselves and get on with my future.
Ha ha ha.
My mind's totally screwed. FML.
I've been thinking recently..what it feels like to be dead.
What it feels like to have your dearest person die before you.
I'm scared. I'm so scared that while I'm up in KL, something might just happen and ah po will just..be gone like that.
I don't want her to leave me. I want her by my side forever.
She's more than a grandma to me. She's my mum. My friend. My everything.
She raised me up. She did so much for me, for my family.
...
I'm stupid. Am I?
Of course human will eventually die.
Crap, I'm even a science stream student.
FML.
FMLFMLFML.
